Tim Meadows is the new Dennis Haskins.
Disclaimer: Full credit to my roommate for making this connection, but I still have to discuss the issue at hand.
They made. another. Mean Girls.
Clearly, the superuberIwanttobeyougenius Tina Fey was not behind it. Clearly, it is a giant fuck mess. (<– phrase credit also goes to the roomie)
While scrolling through the channels on Sunday evening and passing up “Slutty & Lusty Teen Party,” I stopped on Mean Girls 2 and was deeply, deeply upset by what I saw. And it had nothing to do with the Faux-han’s colored hair extensions and her inability to reprise LiLo’s I’m-the-new-girl-who-actually-eats-isn’t-that-refreshing-but-too-bad-the-actress-playing-me-ended-up-a-rehabbing-lesbian role.
It had everything to do with Tim Meadows.
I have never been more upset for someone’s career, because how do you go from being the Ladies Man and definitely one of the better [token black] guys to ever be on SNL (Keenan Thompson really needs to stop) to being the black Richard Belding?
Just like Dennis Haskins, Tim Meadows has been reduced to playing the principal of a once-awesome school full of once-attractive people once all the humor, talent and entertainment value have fully vacated. Except I think Tim Meadows’ situation is worse, because the quality gap between Mean Girls and the sequel is as wide as the Grand Canyon–Saved by the Bell and The New Class don’t even come close.
I’m too tired to have started writing this post. I have nothing else funny to say. BALLS.
I guess I’ll end by saying, “Hang in there, Tim. Maybe Tina will let you have a 30 Rock cameo.” (<– probably not since you were just in such a shitty movie)


love.
Dennis Haskins wins. Wins what? I’m not sure. Possibly a celebrity death match. Possibly my heart. Ew. But not really.