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Justin Bieber is not Josh Duhamel.

February 1, 2011

Regardless of the fact that he married a pant-pissing disaster of a woman slash beast and that totally lost him about 86.8 hotness points, Josh Duhamel is on my “Yeah, I’d Let That Bone Me” List.

And I don’t know if you’re good with numbers and mathy stuff, but I’m 23, and he’s 38.  And in between us are a lot of other women of different ages who’d be down to bone down too.  And maybe women a few years older than him.  And maybe girls a few years younger than me.

So when that movie “Win a Date With Tad Hamilton!” came out, I was all, “Mmm yeah mmm ok, I see that. I’d want to win a date with him. Mmmm,” because I’m really creepy and was apparently eating a cupcake.  The point is, it was believable that there would be a contest to date a dude who looks like that.

But today when I got this email, it wasn’t really a “Mmm yeah mmm ok” situation, it was more of a, “Wait, are they sure that what they’re soliciting is legal?”

“Find out what’s possible if you never give up” – Yeah, statutory rape is what’s possible.  (But not probable, because I’m not a lesbian pedophile, so there’s that.)

But do they realize who they’re sending this too?  This is child prostitution.

Way to go, MovieTickets.com.  Not only are you offering a minor up to mad cougs, but you’re telling them to bring their friends to join in on the fun.

Plus, if I’m going to get into a fight with someone over something, that someone is not going to be Selena Gomez and that something is not going to be the Biebs.

I have a feeling she’d cut a bitch.  And I’m hoping to find out.

Best of luck to all who enter.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. summerjanelleholliday permalink
    June 29, 2011 9:03 am

    You are fr*ckn hilarious and YES, Justin Beiber is NOT Josh Duhamel… Although Josh can do anything including impersonate the child star ; )

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