A 20-piece Chicken McNuggets is meant for more than one person.
I’m all about value. If I’m going to buy something, I like to feel like I haven’t gotten totally wallet-raped. But when it comes to fast food, I’m pretty sure there’s no #winning.
This is because fast food restaurants are total cockspanks (<– word that my boss said to me this week) and like to give you ridiculous pricing and sizing options so you either get ripped off or gain 38 lbs by more than doubling the amount of food you’re ordering.
Why the hell would I go to Subway and just get a 6 inch and pay at least 4 bucks when I can get a Fidollafootlong? Exactly.
But then I get the foot-long, plan on saving half for dinner, end up eating it all at lunch, and all of the sudden I’ve consumed half of my daily calorie intake in about 10 minutes and feel like my stomach is under the siege of a Spicy Italian.
And of course, there’s the issue of size options: 6-inch and foot-long, AKA the standard or double the amount of food.
Do I necessarily want double? Nope. Do I want to feel like I’m getting effed by paying $4 for the first six inches but only $2 for the next six inches? Hell nope.
While they do this everywhere, I think the place that really destroys me is McDonald’s, because I love me some chicken nugs.
Let’s break this down. For $2.99, you can get a “mini-meal” with 4 nugs. Meh. For the same price (I think?), you can get 6 nugs. Meh. For $4.99, you get 20 fucking nuggets.
Most people can’t handle how aggressive that is. Especially since according to a commercial I saw the other day, a 20-piece nug buffet is actually meant to be consumed by more than one person, ideally a group people with diverse ethnic backgrounds.
Well, I totally bought a 20-piece by myself a couple of months ago. And I’m still living it down. And I’m writing about it now because both days this weekend, I woke up and thought that a 20-piece sounded like a great idea. (<–I’m pretty sure that being able to write that sentence is how you know you’ve made it.)
It was during this phase I went through where every weekend I would wake up hungover at a friend’s place, and I would then show up at my apartment with fried chicken of some form and clothing from Marshall’s or TJ Maxx from my hungover bargain shopping escapades.
Well, one day it was a 20-piece. And I know what you’re thinking: How did you eat all of that?
For your information, I didn’t. I ate 19. Mostly because I wanted to be able to say “but I didn’t finish them” if people chose to mock and ridicule me for my gluttonous nug consumption sesh.
Turns out 19 is still a pretty aggressive amount of chicken nuggets to eat on your own. Oops.
Anyway, I didn’t get them this weekend. Because I felt guilty. And am boycotting McDonald’s, because they totally used to have a 10 piece option and they’re trying to ruin my life. Assholes.