GENITAL WARTS LOVE MY BLOG.
And I’m sorry if you do too and you’re angry at me for being the laziest blogger in the entire world lately. Why? Because I exercise now (yikes!) and like living in the real world sometimes (double yikes!).
But there’s nothing like a love letter from “genital warts” to remind me of why I do this whole blog thang:
Unfortunately, I don’t like genital warts, and genital warts are not welcome here. Though I’m afraid of being in contact with (<– get it??) genital warts, feel free to send genital warts an email. Maybe something like “I HATE YOU GENITAL WARTS!”. At least that’s what I would say. But maybe you like genital warts. Who knows.
Anyway, I have some posts coming up. I’ve been thinking about a lot of things lately, and I want to share those thoughts with you, but I got this really cool little box that lets me stream Netflix to my TV (because I don’t have a penis and therefore don’t own a PS3 or XBox whatever the fuck you need to stream Netflix to your TV) and I’ve watched the entire series of the Hills and about 3 seasons of How I Met Your Mother in about 3 weeks.
Jesus H. Christ is right. Looks like my boyfriend Tim Warner is shit outta luck, there’s a new game in TV town.
Lara, hold on a second. Did you really just skip over the fact that you RE-watched the entire series of the Hills? Even that last season when Lauren Conrad isn’t even in it?
Yeah, I did, and I’m not embarrassed. I like the TV on in the background. And with the Hills, I don’t even have to watch, because I know what’s happening. They’re sitting at a trendy outdoor restaurant in LA having lunch. Or at a trendy, dimly-lit restaurant having dinner. Having conversations that go like this:
“Yeah.”
“Totally.”
“And I was like, ‘Whatever’.”
*Silence*
*Staring*
“Slut.”
“Yeah.”
Yes, that was pretty much the best recap I’ve ever written. That is, until I take on Virgin Diaries in an upcoming post. Wait for it, like a virgin bride and groom saving their first kiss for the wedding. And then, you know, violently orally accost it.
