James Cameron has a cat fetish.
I’m gonna be honest–I haven’t seen Avatar because it looks like it would be Fern Gully on crack, and that shit terrified me when I was little. I would have been content if the whole rain forest had been cut down just so I didn’t have to see a damn fairy creature again. But regardless, I am clearly familiar with the Na’vi and have been a bit skeptical about the whole tail situation and their resemblance to felines. This skepticism didn’t quite reach a level of high concern until I saw the Oscars, when I realized that James Cameron does not only like things that look like cats, he’s married to one.
I’ve already shared this observation with my fellow Oscar spectators, since I am incapable of not having an opinion and vocalizing it, but when I did my favorite thing ever (a Google image search) to test my theory, I even surprised myself with my accuracy.
So here’s James Cameron with his wife Eartha Kitt… oh, I mean Suzy Ames:
Here is a picture of a hairless cat:
Basically, they’re the same person, and it makes me nervous. I sincerely think James Cameron must have a thing for cats, which is stupid, because cats are bitches. Please refer to Nick Kroll’s standup routine about cats if you disagree. I’m too lazy to look up a link right now, so do it yourself.
Anyway, I’m also theorizing that it may have been why Cameron and Kathryn Bigalow divorced. Maybe she wouldn’t give into his requests to dress up a cat in a sexual context. While I approve of babies dressing up like animals, it’s a pretty big no-no for adults, so I’m totally behind Bigs (yes, that is her new nickname) on that one. She can have fun with her Oscars while Jamesy-poo empties his wife’s litter box forever–literally, for the rest of eternity. Bitch has nine lives.