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A 20-piece Chicken McNuggets is meant for more than one person.

March 14, 2011

I’m all about value.  If I’m going to buy something, I like to feel like I haven’t gotten totally wallet-raped.  But when it comes to fast food, I’m pretty sure there’s no #winning.

This is because fast food restaurants are total cockspanks (<– word that my boss said to me this week) and like to give you ridiculous pricing and sizing options so you either get ripped off or gain 38 lbs by more than doubling the amount of food you’re ordering.

Example: Subway.

Why the hell would I go to Subway and just get a 6 inch and pay at least 4 bucks when I can get a Fidollafootlong?  Exactly.

But then I get the foot-long, plan on saving half for dinner, end up eating it all at lunch, and all of the sudden I’ve consumed half of my daily calorie intake in about 10 minutes and feel like my stomach is under the siege of a Spicy Italian.

And of course, there’s the issue of size options: 6-inch and foot-long, AKA the standard or double the amount of food.

Do I necessarily want double?  Nope.  Do I want to feel like I’m getting effed by paying $4 for the first six inches but only $2 for the next six inches?  Hell nope.

While they do this everywhere, I think the place that really destroys me is McDonald’s, because I love me some chicken nugs.

Let’s break this down.  For $2.99, you can get a “mini-meal” with 4 nugs.  Meh.  For the same price (I think?), you can get 6 nugs.  Meh.  For $4.99, you get 20 fucking nuggets.

Most people can’t handle how aggressive that is.  Especially since according to a commercial I saw the other day, a 20-piece nug buffet is actually meant to be consumed by more than one person, ideally a group people with diverse ethnic backgrounds.

Well, I totally bought a 20-piece by myself a couple of months ago.  And I’m still living it down.  And I’m writing about it now because both days this weekend, I woke up and thought that a 20-piece sounded like a great idea.  (<–I’m pretty sure that being able to write that sentence is how you know you’ve made it.)

It was during this phase I went through where every weekend I would wake up hungover at a friend’s place, and I would then show up at my apartment with fried chicken of some form and clothing from Marshall’s or TJ Maxx from my hungover bargain shopping escapades.

Well, one day it was a 20-piece.  And I know what you’re thinking: How did you eat all of that?

For your information, I didn’t.  I ate 19.  Mostly because I wanted to be able to say “but I didn’t finish them” if people chose to mock and ridicule me for my gluttonous nug consumption sesh.

Turns out 19 is still a pretty aggressive amount of chicken nuggets to eat on your own.  Oops.

Anyway, I didn’t get them this weekend.  Because I felt guilty.  And am boycotting McDonald’s, because they totally used to have a 10 piece option and they’re trying to ruin my life.  Assholes.

11 Comments leave one →
  1. March 14, 2011 12:39 pm

    Rox and I totes had McD chicken nuggest (aka heaven in your mouth) last night and we waxed poetic on their many wonders. She eat them with honey and I prefer mine with BBQ sauce. We both got 10. She got up to 9 and looked like she wanted to quit, but I, like a good best friend, urged her on to the full 10. Now, I know, that we are aiming low and 20 is where it’s at.

    I feel like I should take this ball and run with it. I see a nuggest post in my future. 🙂


    • March 14, 2011 12:45 pm

      My friend always gets mad at me and calls me a total amateur when I don’t get sweet and spicy sauce. It’s now my standard.

  2. Keine Liebe permalink
    March 25, 2011 11:04 am

    Wow. If you’re female and don’t run marathons, never order a foot long. You don’t need the calories and aren’t really saving money by buying twice the food your body needs. I will accept getting ripped off for $2 if it means staying 100 lbs away from obesity. To save money, I get a kid’s meal. It still has 500 calories and more grease than anybody actually needs.

    • March 25, 2011 11:13 am

      I’m nowhere near obesity. I do what I want. Like 19-chicken-nugs style.

  3. March 31, 2011 10:28 am

    Just another little tidbit to add, I was in Las Vegas a couple weeks ago and noticed the 50 piece nugget sign, $9.99!

    • March 31, 2011 11:12 am

      That’s pretty impressive for Vegas. I would have thought a 10-piece would be that much.

    • adam permalink
      April 10, 2012 10:05 am

      its call a buffet. go to your fancy restaurants , pay $50 bucks for two bites of caviar with truffles nugget

  4. April 13, 2012 9:45 pm

    19 nuggets? I can eat 20 no problem. I could eat 40. The nuggets have shrunk. Im a hungy burley hairy guy. I have a hunger.

  5. Rory permalink
    November 4, 2012 7:28 pm

    Wow, this was my weekend. I know this is old, but I want you to know that I feel your exact shame. I even found this by googling “20 chicken nuggets one person” just so I could make sure that I wan’t the grossest person in America.

    Thank you.

  6. jimmy permalink
    December 24, 2012 4:12 pm

    100 nuggest for 12.99 in omaha nebraska…eek

  7. Lindsey permalink
    April 18, 2013 3:43 pm

    i totally just ate 20 mcnuggets so i felt like shit and looked it up. i feel like im going to have a mini heart attack, NEVER AGAIN

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