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If you can see them, they can see you.

March 26, 2011

Sometimes when I’m at home I’m kind of bad about making sure that my blinds are closed when I’m changing my clothes.  Realistically, people from the street could see up into my room, but I never really care because nobody’s on the street.  But the fact of the matter is, if you’re looking out a window or through a doorway or down on a crowd of people from atop a building, if you can see them, they can see you.

Someone probably should have clarified this for a couple of USC bro-eds (like co-eds, but, like, in frats and sororities and shit) who decided to bone down hard on top of the tallest building on campus.  In the middle of the day.  With supposedly a crowd of a few hundred people in the quad below them.  During a philanthropy event.  Not sure if they noticed.

Granted, “philanthropy” is typically code for “Our house will pay $200+ for our members to get drunk and play some sort of sport or game and then needy children will get books,” but hey, at least it’s something.  If it weren’t for drunk college students, some kids wouldn’t have any books, ok?

[I planned one of those events.  And it was awesome and we raised a ton of money and helped kids.  And nobody got railed in public.  Stop judging me.]

Instead, judge these people:

So those are only some of the pictures.  For reals.  More are available here, unless they’ve been taken down.  Which would be a crime.  (Slash I hope that my posting them isn’t a crime.  Weiners crossed)

Rumor has it that the guy is in the same frat that wrote (or “redistributed,” as they claim…. right…)  the infamous “Cocksman” email (by which I’m really not that offended. Oops.)   This is also the same frat in which I lived for the summer of 2009.  Awesome.

Looks like he got the pie he was looking for.  Too bad he probably also is going to get his dick chopped off by his frat for royally fucking them (I think that’s the first time I’ve used fucking as a verb in this blog.  Wow.) about as hard as he boned that chick on top of WPH.  Way to go.

I really thought that a Saturday night at home with my puppy and laundry was going to be uneventful.  But thanks to my super-best-friend-slash-kind-of-ex-boyfriend-slash-provider-of-amazingness-slash-made-a-wmv-of-the-pics-but-I-couldn’t-upload-it whose brother still goes to USC and has access to such things of wonder, this is probably the best night of my life.

Why?  Because for the rest of eternity, no matter what happens to me, I have yet another person to think about when something goes wrong and say, “Hey, at least i’m not that girl.”

*I’m not doing any updates to this post.  More information may come to light, not my problem.  Goog that shit if you want to know more.  Also, some other articles linking to mine could have taken things out of context.  Read carefully.

30 Comments leave one →
  1. March 27, 2011 8:16 am

    I came over here from 20sb and….O.O !!!!
    say whaaaa? I have to tell that dude that his idea possibly sounded very epic in his head, but seriously? during a PHILANTROPY event? I might make a joke about how they were donating sex pictures to the studying crowd in the quad but still! Great post, and I agree that that girl’s demand has just skyrocketed out of here due to the fact that every sex-deprived USC guy will look for her to do it in other public locations.

  2. shellytalks permalink
    March 27, 2011 1:41 pm

    Oh my goodness gracious! I like that she left her teeshirt on, it’s like she has a shred of dignity left.

  3. mogle permalink
    March 27, 2011 1:55 pm

    dude i think he’s wearing an anchor splash shirt. and anchor splash was on saturday in the quad. oops DG.

    • March 27, 2011 1:58 pm

      Mmhmm. If you clicked the link to the picture set, it suggested Anchor Splash to be the scene of the crime. Oops, indeed.

  4. scalum permalink
    March 27, 2011 10:28 pm

    Any thoughts on who these two might be?

    • March 27, 2011 10:48 pm

      Some people have thoughts, but i don’t want to spread any rumors on here.

  5. March 28, 2011 8:08 pm

    First of all, I just want to say that I think you’ve been incredibly generous with the length of the black box covering his wiener. Someone pulling a stunt like this couldn’t possibly have a dick as big as the box suggests. Otherwise, what, exactly is he trying to prove?

    Secondly, I’m surprised you’re not offended, Lara, by the pie letter wherein you and are relegated to “it”s. You do remember what it was like trying to meet nice guys to date on the row, right?

    • March 28, 2011 8:20 pm

      I did not do the black boxing, so I def agree with you on that point.

      With regard to not being that offended, I more so just have pity on how pathetic the guy is if he actually believes any of it. It’s either a fucked sense of humor or a generally meaningless and delusional existence. I find it hard to care too much.

  6. March 29, 2011 10:57 am

    oh goodness. this made my day miss lady. this made my day.

  7. March 29, 2011 1:15 pm

    OMG! That’s hella moded!!! SMH but BTFU (Bustin the fuck up) hahahaha I woulda grabbed me some popcorn and shouted TEAR THAT ASS UP BWOY!!!! bwahahahaha

  8. rayy permalink
    March 29, 2011 4:53 pm

    “judge these people”–OK, the guy is a 9.5 out of ten! maybe more if these pictures were more in focus.

  9. Johnny S. Doe permalink
    March 29, 2011 9:09 pm

    Very interesting side note: I sent the link to your blog to a friend on Facebook. They censored a private message! Perhaps it’s known that this is something they do, but we’re talking a communication provider filtering private messages and deleting content they find objectionable. All it said where the link should have been was [object][object].

    How does it feel to be officially on the Facebook blacklist? Freakin’ amazing.

    • March 29, 2011 9:12 pm

      Shit. I think Mark Zuckerberg finally saw the things I’ve been writing about him.

      • Johnny S. Doe permalink
        March 30, 2011 12:27 am

        Hehe. I write for a living. Like Gonzo, I do a bit of sportswriting on the side. I wrote a story on ESPN calling out one of their announcers for having broadcast his insane opinion that a professional basketball coach had actually financially paid a ref that he went to university with years ago to throw the game. Well, ESPN didn’t like it, and it ended up being the last time I wrote there. (same broadcaster just got popped for DUI and for calling black players at Duke “a bunch of Uncle Toms.” ) Zuckerberg may put a metaphorical crosshair on ya one of these days, but if you’re spot on in your criticisms (which you always are) and the Zuckerbergerback is operating a douche without a license, you’ll be exonerated in the public eye every time! Great article here today. Keep it up!

  10. OrgasmSuperHero permalink
    March 29, 2011 9:38 pm

    It was quite a fraternity trick…They both thought that it really was slick…But the head of the frat…Said he’d have none of that…On the roof you can’t whip out your dick

  11. March 30, 2011 12:01 am

    Fair play to the guy and gal…

  12. Chiel permalink
    March 30, 2011 6:32 am

    This is what students do all over the world. I don’t see the problem.

  13. ivan permalink
    March 31, 2011 11:59 am

    Thats nice two good catholic kids on a u.s.c. building. GGGOOOOO TTTRROOJJJAAANNNSSS

  14. March 31, 2011 12:17 pm

    1.) I get dressed with the curtains opened all the freaking time. And sometimes I stand naked in front of the window and wonder if people can see me. Thank you for answering this question.

    2.) Are you famous now??

    3.) I just don’t know what to say. I mean… at least they were having a good time? But also, they are dumb. I hope the sex was worth it? But probably it wasn’t. I’m just at a loss.

    Like your face.

    • ΚΣ permalink
      July 17, 2011 5:36 pm

      ΑΕΚΔΒ to any brothers from other chapters around the country who are reading this and laughing.


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