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December 16, 2011

And I’m sorry if you do too and you’re angry at me for being the laziest blogger in the entire world lately. Why? Because I exercise now (yikes!) and like living in the real world sometimes (double yikes!).

But there’s nothing like a love letter from “genital warts” to remind me of why I do this whole blog thang:

Unfortunately, I don’t like genital warts, and genital warts are not welcome here.  Though I’m afraid of being in contact with (<– get it??)  genital warts, feel free to send genital warts an email.  Maybe something like “I HATE YOU GENITAL WARTS!”.  At least that’s what I would say. But maybe you like genital warts. Who knows.

Anyway, I have some posts coming up.  I’ve been thinking about a lot of things lately, and I want to share those thoughts with you, but I got this really cool little box that lets me stream Netflix to my TV (because I don’t have a penis and therefore don’t own a PS3 or XBox whatever the fuck you need to stream Netflix to your TV) and I’ve watched the entire series of the Hills and about 3 seasons of How I Met Your Mother in about 3 weeks.

Jesus H. Christ is right.  Looks like my boyfriend Tim Warner is shit outta luck, there’s a new game in TV town.

Lara, hold on a second.  Did you really just skip over the fact that you RE-watched the entire series of the Hills?  Even that last season when Lauren Conrad isn’t even in it?

Yeah, I did, and I’m not embarrassed.  I like the TV on in the background.  And with the Hills, I don’t even have to watch, because I know what’s happening.  They’re sitting at a trendy outdoor restaurant in LA having lunch.  Or at a trendy, dimly-lit restaurant having dinner.  Having conversations that go like this:



“And I was like, ‘Whatever’.”





Yes, that was pretty much the best recap I’ve ever written.  That is, until I take on Virgin Diaries in an upcoming post.  Wait for it, like a virgin bride and groom saving their first kiss for the wedding.  And then, you know, violently orally accost it.

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