Currency exchange rates change daily.
It’s very rare that I’m really embarrassed to have gone to USC. (Oh, and apparently it’s now really rare that I write. And absolutely NOT to quote that horrendous sketch-that-makes-me-want-to-kill-Keenan-Thompson-but-not-in-a-hate-crimey-kind-of-way-AT-ALL, but “What’s up with that?” Sorry….) But today. I just. words. Can not. I just need to get on with the story because it’s making me depressed thinking about it.
I was on campus talking to a bunch of senior PR students. Giving them advice. Accidentally dropped an F-bomb or two. Nbd. And I realized after finishing my ultra-inspiring panel discussion that while I have recently been severing ties with a number of collegey things (blacking out super hard and puking (ish), wearing my sorority shirts, being friends with fratty club promoters on Facebook, Facebook groups relating to fratting), I had failed to fully separate myself financially.
Yes, though I no longer owe them money, a USC-owned institution still had money that belonged to me. And though I had access to it via my debit card (sitting in my desk drawer, unlike another of my debit cards that was recently stolen out of my roommate’s car when she was at the car wash <– yeah, that shit happens. fuckers charged $140. AT THE SAME GAS STATION WHERE SHE GOT HER CAR WASHED. lock your shit up.), I really just needed to close my checking account with the USC Credit Union and have that not hanging over my head anymore.
A couple of points you should be aware of:
- The reason I haven’t closed this account is because. well. the only times I’m really ever on campus is drunk on a Saturday to watch football. Banks just aren’t having that.
- I have not used that debit card in forever and a half.
- At one point there was negative $2.50 in it, yet I was never charged an overdraft or anything. And they eventually just restored my account to zero.
- So apparently I lied up there – USC didn’t have my money. They just had a thing that held money, were I to have any. It’s kind of like spending a ton of money on a wallet and have nothing to put in it. Which is kind of like buying an education and then having to use it to have money again. All of these analogies are upsetting to me. I’d much prefer getting things for free. But I digress.
So I make my way up to the credit union and the following conversation occurs:
Me: I have a checking account. I haven’t used it in 12 centuries. I don’t even think there’s money in it. I don’t know the account number, and I don’t have the debit card with me. Here’s my ID, let’s get that closed now.
Teller: Let’s see here. Yep, card hasn’t been used in over 2 years. You have 3 cents…. oh….. uh… hold on, your account just froze my computer.
Funny story on its own, right? Cuz, you know, they gave me 3 pennies even though I at one point owed them 250? No. Not even close to what I heard next to me.
Asian girl, probably a freshman, definitely a complete moron: (pulling multiple hundreds out of her wallet) Um, I need some traveler’s checks.
Indian teller (<– relevant, I promise): Ok.
AGPAFDAM: Wait, is it better to get traveler’s checks, or just get the money here and bring it with?
IT: *confused silence*
AGPAFDAM: Like should I get traveler’s checks? Or if I get Indian currency here and bring it with me, will I have a better exchange rate? I’m going to India with the business school. (*Lara kills herself upon hearing* <– not really, but kind of)
IT: Currency exchange rates change daily.
AGPAFDAM: *confused silence*
IT: There’s no way of knowing if you’d get a better rate here or there. And that doesn’t have anything to do with traveler’s checks.
AGPAFDAM: Ok, so I guess I’ll get some. If I don’t use them all, can I bring them back and get my money back?
…… at this point, I stopped listening, embittered by the fact that this person 1) has parents paying for her to go to India 2) has hundreds of dollars that her parents gave her to go spend in India 3) quite possibly may not know where/what India is 4) is most definitely going to graduate and get a job in consulting making minimum double my salary.
Also, my teller’s computer had finally just unfrozen, so he gave me my 3 pennies. I kept them, but I really should have given them to that girl to buy a fucking clue. Or a traveler’s check.